it’s nights like this one when i seem to miss you more
there is nothing different about tonight
no, the sun still set and the moon is out
the stores turned their signs and the street lights came on
the same kind of night as any but my feelings have changed
i can go weeks without pondering a thought
and then something triggers it
its like a gun firing
its like you left just yesterday
time stopped and im back to where we started
well, to where we ended
light speed of thoughts of you spin through my mind
i cant stop them
so, i know that i have moved on slightly and happy with logan really really happy with logan but when you feel the way for someone the way i felt for zac its hard to just forget especially when he is constantly there..like in your face there. there is no escaping him. either my friends are with him or something reminds me of him. and it sucks cause i know he doesnt care i just want to talk to him or atleast see him which isnt good but i just need to i need to see him and see what i feel like. but that wont happen and i have moved on…i think ~z
So at the moment I am sitting here with my cousin and unfortunately she is doing homework even thought she has a career. She is an ESL teacher which is english as a second language. she teaches high school students to speak english and learn stuff that american kids learn when we are in elementary school like place value. well, we started talking about and like i have mentioned in love inspiration.. i want to be a teacher, i have ever since i was in 5th grade. but i dont just want to teach i want to be that teacher that i can talk to my students about their life problems..i want to make a difference in childrens lives.. i want to find a school with children that arent fortunate and i want to help, i want my classroom to feel like a second home not like somewhere you have to go and hate it. i want the warmth. anyways, my cousin does just that, she is helping children stay in school, help girls t not get pregnant. she spreads that word of the lord to her students even though she probably shouldnt. i know that God will get me a career like that where i can make a difference and i will pray for it until it happens.
So, I am going to take this blog entry to explain the heading “Forever Inspired.”
I’m not quite sure when or why i came up with it but ever since whenever it has stuck to me. As I just mentioned in my last blog post I love simple..well this isn’t going to be a post about how some famous person inspired me doing some amazing thing…nope so if your looking for a story about a life changing experience then you might wanna stop here and move on…. anyways this is going to sound dumb but the most random things inspire me and i’m saying inspire like when i do it it makes me want to do something, like it gives me motive, inspiration. the show gossip girl is what made me realize that little things inspire me, i know cliche…but the characters in that show are passionate about so many different things, and one character is a writer and loves the way people write and i want to be like that, i want to write magic..writing is always something ive loved and i want to be a writer that when a reader reads my work they step back and are like wow that sounds like i told the person my life and they wrote magic about it like taylor swift is with her lyrics, relateable..(i am making that a word) but when it rains i want to write or while im reading or taking a bath i want to write, i get ideas in my head as im driving and one day maybe people all over the world will read what i have to say.
I like to think of life as simple not really life in general but if you focus on the simple things then life can seem, simpler I’m not a hard one to please, I don’t need to be taken to a fancy dinner or bought a dozen roses every time, simply watching an old movie can make me the happiest person alive. I think we all need to take a step back, from the stress and the frustration and look at life as simple. Most people focus on what needs to get accomplished in a short amount of time.. think about it this way.. focus on the night sky it is so still and calm, imagine sitting on the moon with all of your problems and stressful daily tasks sitting in a pile back on earth, all there is to focus on is well nothing.. we need to take time and relax.
My life right now is probably as good as it has been in a long long time. and with summer coming i know that it will be a lot better. I have school, which isn’t a piece of cake but I a working hard, well i’m working on getting through so that i can have a career. I have my friends right where i want them, well most of them. katherine is not in my life anymore and yes this hurts and i wish that she was still around to see how well i’m doing but maybe i’m doing well because she isn’t in my life…she was just stress with blonde hair. i focused on fixing her way too much i couldn’t realize that i needed to fix myself.. as for casey i thought that our friendship was coming to an end but it turned around and i have accepted that we are mature and not in high school and its time to have an adult friendship.. which is hard but i’m adjusting.. and on top of all of that, i have an amazing boyfriend who respects me and i know is genuine..i love him. Family is good as always i have such an amazing family always have. I am doing my best to become the best christian i can be, it’s hard but i’m trying. well that my update as of right now. i cannot wait to see what is next in God’s plan for me. So stay tuned.